Its funny, I had no thought in my head, no bullet point on my list today that said ‘write a blog post’, I only got my laptop out to finally get on top of some internet admin but actually, I’ve found myself wanting to articulate what’s going on in my head, even if its just to me.
I know what you’re thinking – ‘man is she still not just grateful for what she’s got and getting on with it?’ Well I totally am grateful and happy but if I can make things eeeeven better why wouldn’t I try?
For the last year, as you know, I’ve been trying to re-inspire myself and to be honest I’ve made multiple decisions about multiple things, then gained more knowledge, more insight, more opinions, thoughts and ideas that have opened my mind to new possibilities and so I’ve found myself right in the midst of ‘what the goodness am I going to do?!’ all over again.
I know now that its not about finding the right ‘job’ for me, Job Charming is never really going to exist and that its more about needing to reassess the value/self worth I attach to paid employment. My job doesn’t have to be the only indicator of my whole life’s success. Who knew?!
I know now that continually focusing on my health before I start living my life is actually stopping me from doing it!! (I.E I’ll lose weight then I’ll be able to try that thing, put myself out there for that, get on with that idea…)
I know now that society has well and truly shaped the majority of my thoughts on what life should be, the standard progress line, what I should be aiming for and now that I know that, I can challenge it!
I also know that no amount of hokey pokey will o’ the wisp crystal fairies are going to manifest all this if I don’t even know what it is I want to attract!
So this is a bit long winded but bare with me. In October last year I realised that while I enjoyed blogging, I didn’t really enjoy the social media part of what I thought I had to do. I thought I had to make the blog ‘successful’ (read by trillions, making billions) and I thought I had to think about business processes, think about where its going with social media and that and I really didn’t want to be my end goal to be ‘influencer’ or not in the way we currently think of them. I didn’t want my end goal to be having millions of followers, Love Islander esque peddling any old mould busting wrinkle repellent, I didn’t even want to be a ‘luxury content creator’, marketing £20,000 hand bags, being Mrs Consumerism. And so rather than just keeping on blogging because I enjoyed it, getting somewhere with my mixed up mind, I just stopped fully, to ‘reassess.’ (While the wee devil on my shoulder says ‘aye ok you big lying critter of a quitter!’ )
When I stopped, I went back to my usual first thought – clear my mind which in KQ speak means go a beach walk and clear out the house! I also started back full time at work around the same time which delayed everything a bit so this took me a wee while. In my clear out / organisation, I found a book my sister gave me a good 10 years ago that I’d never got round to reading: ‘Rich Dad, Poor Dad’ by Robert Kyosaki. And with nothing to lose, no other books in the ‘to be read’ pile, I gave it a go. Some of you will have heard of it and wonder what rock I’ve been living under (it was originally written in the 90s) but it was the very first book I’ve read that opened my eyes to an alternative to ‘educate, get a good job, earn the most within that same company, retire, full stop.’ I don’t have to just accept that everyone has to work and everyone has to suck it up and make the best of living for the weekend.
After that I was going to be a finance Queen and make money while I cocktail on a beach in the Maldives but then Christmas came and I got sidetracked with work and COVID blah blah and then a puppy!
I then found myself seeking out more financial knowledge via Youtube, more specifically The Break (Patricia Bright’s finance channel) and Mrs Dow Jones (a silly Gossip Girl like but totally clever) channel. And they each recommended books. So I bought a couple more. I’ll go into the actual books I read one day but the more I pay attention, write notes and think about them, the more my mind blows and the relief I get is more and more inspiring.
Which is how I’ve come around to caring what my values are.
I wanted to identify them because each of those books discuss life and living your best one. Each of them mention living by core values, what you really believe is the centre of a fulfilling life, one you are happy living with every single day, one that you can be proud of, one that you can look back on and feel satisfied and having them being an important way to shape your decisions. But I found it really hard! There’s the obvious ones like valuing friends and family and the environment say but what do I REALLY care about?
Its really easy to say what we’re not happy with and what we don’t like. I don’t like being restricted. I don’t like unfairness. I don’t like perpetual negativity (although I definitely appreciate a wee moan now and again.) And I know that from experiencing it. But what DO I value?
Weirdly, around a similar, if a bit science fiction, I recently reread the Divergent series and it always makes me wonder what faction I would be in (so what I value); Abnegation (value selflessness), Candour (value truth), Erudite (value knowledge), Dauntless (value bravery) and Amity (value peace.) I mostly think I would be Amity, if I could only pick one, I think that would be it but for a whole bunch of reasons, I don’t think I’d stick it, it would just be a place I’d like to visit regularly! I could probably do that with each of the factions. Thankfully we’re all genetically ‘pure’ or ‘divergent’ by Veronica Roth’s standards and so we can be a bit of each. Thankfully that was also a purely fictional book! I really don’t fancy those simulations… Four however…
So I started with the definition of ‘values’ – like the good millennial I am, I Googled it…
Your values are the things that you believe are important in the way you live and work. They (should) determine your priorities, and, deep down, they’re probably the measures you use to tell if your life is turning out the way you want it to.
And then I Googled a list of values to give myself a bit of a head start and I came across the below, its not fancy but here is the link if you’re interested. The process is simply picking a bunch of values from the list, grouping them into 5 groups and picking one that is a sort of header for the rest of that group.
I’ve come out with the below. I feel good about them and relieved and sort of like I’ve achieved something today!
My values are:
My list is short because they’re headers for much, much more. Of course I value my family, friends and Ross, that comes within ‘love’ but so does passion and enthusiasm. I value flexibility, adaptability, adventure, risk taking and that’s all in ‘freedom.’ They aren’t in an order.
I care about what’s fair, I care about living a fulfilling life and I obviously care about happiness (or why else would I be in need of all this re-inspiration.)
Maybe this topic is a bit out there for the more practical minded, I know at least a couple that struggle to tolerate my skatty dreamer of an Aquarian brain. Not everyone thinks the same, and that’s totally fine but I’d love to hear from anyone navigating (or has navigated) a similar thought process and could also do with a good gab about something more than Line of Duty (although that last episode was a good one eh?)